A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...