Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

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Womens Rights.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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