2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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connor sucks

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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A blond, a brunnet and a read head all fall off a cliif, wich one did not die They all died you idiots

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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Why is Roenz Gay? He isnt.

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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