Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

women's rights

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

Why was the boy crying. He just got raped by a llama

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

so a dyslexic man sold his soul to Santa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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