Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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What are we then hypocrites?

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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(Put joke here)

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

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Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

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One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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God is real

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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