why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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