Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

I lost my tractor.

Shit!

why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

rape that shit

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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