What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Yes!

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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