What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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