Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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knock, knock come in

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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