How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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terry stockton is straight

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Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

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Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops