Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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A walrus walks into a bar

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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