Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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You.

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knock, knock come in

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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Woman's Rights

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Colby is gay.... thats it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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