What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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i cant think of one.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

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knock knock who's there interupting black woman interu- MMMMHHHHHMMMM

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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