What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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One time I masturbated by myself

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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