Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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A walrus walks into a bar

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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YEAH THEY DO.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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Chicken penis.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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