Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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i dont like attention whores lol

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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AJ enjoyed his trip to Pen Island

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

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My tractor broke down.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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What's the diffrence between one black guy and another black guy. One of them has Aids.

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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