Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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whats long and green? weed

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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A women president

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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