A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

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What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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