A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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I am a n1gger.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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Worst joke ever

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

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Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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