Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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