How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have two hands. Some people dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is pi? Because circles.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is a very respectable woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops