Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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