Melbourne Football Club.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why did the book disappear?

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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Penis.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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