(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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My children are huge mistakes.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops