A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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mark is mark

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Men, get on the boat.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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