Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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pickle juice?

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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Gay's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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