- Anti Joke

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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