How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

your father died

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

What would be worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts.

Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

how now brown cow. WTF.

Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

A: B: No pun intended.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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