A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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A blond, a brunnet and a read head all fall off a cliif, wich one did not die They all died you idiots

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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luke moore cant pull it back

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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