roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer really isn't that important.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

thumb_up thumb_down -23

this is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Pokemon go: Team mystic

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops