Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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