What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Come In!

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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*you're

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops