2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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^that joke a piece of shit

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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connor sucks

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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