so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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The 13th Amendment...

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

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So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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Samantha

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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