How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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What's the deal with airline food?

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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