Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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whats 2+2? 4

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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