Your mother is a very respectable woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

rishi is gay (coventry england)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is funnier then 25 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops