Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

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KKK

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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