What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

Justin Bieber got laid

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

melon

How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

Breast cancer.

An Irish man walks out of a bra.

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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