whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-646-2835 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names travis

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A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

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If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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