Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Hi Shelby!!

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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we all know sammi has a penis

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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