What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hi Shelby!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops