Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

What isn't funny? The holacost.

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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