A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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A guy has cancer. He dies.

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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Penis

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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