Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

thumb_up thumb_down -16

IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Woman's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops