(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

96

thumb_up thumb_down +23

penus

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off. haha its funny

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops