What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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hey guys what's up?

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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THE GAME

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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mc hammers income.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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