How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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your mother hates you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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Bloody kids ...

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops