How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Loner.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Gorden Brown.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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