What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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whats a dick a dick

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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This is not mean't to be a joke, but I have noticed the least popular thing on here is the Jew and the Pizza joke. I am Jewish and find this extremely offensive. I applaud all of those who gave it a negative vote and realize the Holocaust is not a laughing matter.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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Seth stock has a large penis

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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