Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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american government

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Is this where I type the joke?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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since when?

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Hi my name is Jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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