So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

I lost my tractor.

Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

Are you Drew?

What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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