You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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