Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What just hit my face? The floor

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops