Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

5

The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

You're Adopted.

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...