A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

Why did the child step on a ball?

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

Hearpin my durp

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

Your Mom.

Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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