A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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Women have the right to vote.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

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Punch line.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Seth stock has a large penis

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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