a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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you just contradicted yourself.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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Your mom is so hairy that she must not feel comfortable in her everyday life.

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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22

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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