whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

skurfboards we love fat kids

How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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